If you don't like swearing, please don't read my post. You can close the browser-I won't be offended. Honestly.
Still here? Well, here goes...
I have been putting off writing this post all day because I just don't want to face it. I honestly don't understand my body at all. I have been steadily losing and I have been beyond good this week (see my True Confession post). However, I am up .8 fucking pounds to 154.8 this week!!!! WTF! This fucking sucks! Yeah, I'm pissed and don't feel like censoring myself like I usually do. (I normally don't want any of you to see the real me is potty mouthed and bitchy. Today I must not care.)
I cannot understand how I can be so good and work my ass off all week, to only GAIN weight. It doesn't make any sense. Here is my calorie log from Daily Plate for the past week. See if you can figure out where I went wrong:
2/11 consumed 1597, burned 143, net 1454
2/12 consumed 1072, burned 590, net 482 (missed dinner-had popcorn at movies instead)
2/13 consumed 1355, burned 336, net 1019
2/14 consumed 1700, burned 190, net 1510
2/15 consumed 1713, burned 553, net 1161
2/16 consumed 1395, burned 466, net 929
(Ok, big mistake-daughter just came into the room and found me crying as I write this post. She asked why I was crying and I told her. Way to pass on my body image issues to my 12 year old daughter. Sign me up for mother of the year.)
Daily Plate says I should get 1643 calories a day to lose 1.5 pounds a week. When I exercise, the calorie allotment goes up, so they are wanting me to "eat" those calories, too. Of the 6 days I posted here, I only felt like crap on the 482 net-calorie day (was really lightheaded, actually) but by the time we got home, it was really too late to eat. I haven't been hungry and one of the habits I'm trying to break is mindless snacking at the end of the day. Should I eat something if it looks like I still have calories left over, even if I'm not hungry? What the fuck is that going to do for me? I'm also sure I'm getting enough water since I'm running to the damn bathroom every hour. Also, if I drink more, that makes me not want to eat because I already feel full.
I thought maybe this gain was hormonal (which for me would be a minor miracle since Aunt Flo hasn't visited in over 5 years) but so far all I have are a few zits and several crying jags-nothing else is happening. Sorry, TMI, but I'm really trying to figure this shit out.
If you stuck with me, sorry for going off and for the potty mouth. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.
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My best guess? You aren't eating enough. Seriously. You are burning a TON of calories. TON. And your body might be freaking out just a little. Since you don't want to eat when you aren't hungry, which totally makes sense, I would suggest eating some higher calorie items when you do eat.
ReplyDeleteI'm not an expert, but that's my guess.
I'm sorry you're so sad and frustrated. I KNOW it's hard. SO HARD. Cuss and cry and get it all out. Then get back to work and figure out what WILL work. Maybe you need to spend a week or 2 upping your calories to see what happens. I know you want to lose, lose, lose, but until you figure out what works, you might have a few weeks that aren't so pretty.
YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN. I promise!!!!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxo and a couple extra xoxoxoxo for good measure.
OMG I am experiencing the SAME frustrations. I have let it get to the point of constant crying, and an all consuming sense of failure...
ReplyDeleteBreathe...
I'm sorry you are struggling, but if it makes you feel any better, you have made me feel better in the sense that I don't feel alone anymore. Additionally, someone told me the same thing that Christy said - I'm not eating enough and I'm burning a ton of calories. Not eating enough = impossible concept to wrap my brain around!
I'm glad I read your post. Thank you. Beki
yes, you have to talk to april about the calorie count. she's the queen! you have to play around with your calorie count and yes, i'm pretty sure that if you've fallen below your calorie count, you should eat anyway even if you're not hungry. that's the food as fuel mentality. eat too much, gain weight, eat too little, gain weight. it's true. please don't cry! cuss if you will, but .8 is not a "gain" and you have actually done all the right things. there is a magic number of calories for you and you have to find it! seriously, go email april and she'll help you work the math. she's awesome. keep at it! big fat huge *hugs* to you. xo
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comments and *hugs*. I am trying to go with the "food as fuel" mentally and my goal this week is to hit around 1300 net calories a day this week. Hopefully that will get the scale moving in the right direction.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo!