True Confessions: Starting the Freakout

Today's true confession will be a little different.  I could keep talking about how I've been drinking way too much wine, how I ate 1/2 a pizza (with EVERYTHING) between Friday dinner and Saturday lunch, how Saturday night we ended up getting Chinese because every sports bar we tried to go to was PACKED (thank you Lions and Red Wings for ruining my chance at a night out and for not even WINNING your games - geesh), how my pants are still so freaking tight and that I feel completely out of control.  Yah, I could keep talking about that.  But I won't. 

I'm here to confess that my next half marathon is in 19 days. My first "fly away" big race.

In 17 days I have to get on not one, but two planes and fly solo to California.  I used to love flying as a kid, but as I've gotten older, now all I do is think about everything that could go wrong.  I have a whopping 58 minutes to get off of one plane and haul @$$ through O'Hare to get to another plane.  I'm so worried that I'll miss that 2nd flight and not get out there as planned.

I'm worrying about what to wear.  Of course I have my RunTeamSparkle skirt and fairy wings. I have my "It's Not Sweat It's Pixie Dust" t-shirt.  But it's trying to figure out what to wear underneath that's the problem.  It looks like it will be in the mid to high 40's at race time, which is that stupid grey-area temperature for me.  Too cold for shorts/capris but too warm for pants.  I can tolerate my legs a little cold, but staying warm on top without overheating might be a big challenge.  Do I just go with the t-shirt and arm warmers?  Do I layer? GAH.  Our weather here has been an unseasonably warm 40+ degrees, so I'm thinking of doing my 6 mile run today in my anticipated "Tink" costume (minus the fairy wings, cuz I can only imagine what the people on the trail would think) and see how I feel.

I'm worrying about how I'm going to feel seeing myself in race pictures 10+ pounds heavier than I was for the marathon (and I thought I looked too heavy in those pictures too).  I'm going to be meeting some really awesome people for the first time, and reconnecting with some other friends, and I have ZERO confidence right now because I'm so pissed that I let myself gain 10 pounds.  But, I want to be able to put a smile on my face in the Happiest Place on Earth.

I'm worried about what I should carry on me when I run the race.  My fuel belt doesn't exactly "go" with my costume :)  but I've always carried my own water, sport beans, gu.  I also need to have a camera.  Do I just use Lola (my sexy iPhone) or do I steal my daughter's small point and shoot, that happens to be waterproof and dropproof?

I'm freaking out about having to get to the airport only a few hours after the race.  Hopefully I'll be able to at least shower and eat something before trying to get home.  Oh, and I have to do two planes again - this time with only 40 minutes to change planes in Denver (an airport I've never been in).  At least I've flown through O'Hare enough to know my way around.  If I miss my flight in Denver, I won't make it to work on Monday.  Also?  How stiff and sore am I going to be after running 13.1 miles earlier in the day. 

My left ankle/calf have been pretty angry lately.  I don't know if it's because I've been pushing my pace quite a bit or because I'm heavier, but either way, it makes me worried.  I have no doubts of my ability to finish 13.1 but I'd like to do it without limping.

I know there's really nothing I can do to control any of this.  This is why I'm already heading into freakout mode.  Have you run a race that's required a flight?  How do you keep from freaking out over everything you can't control?